My Own Feedback

Since having to start planning to collect audience feedback and shifting through my opening sequence to think of the sort of questions that I can ask my audience, I have started to reflect on my own coursework.

Truthfully, if given the chance, I would love to re-film my opening sequence. Not the whole collection of shots, but merely adjust some and add in some other camera angles. For example, when Natalie is in the bathroom checking her make-up and washes her hands, it is in one shot. Whereas, now when editing I realised that I could have cut the a close-up shot of Natalie's face when she steps back a bit to look at her face.

Another adjustment that I would have liked to have done is the placement of my title, 'Speak Out'. Originally I had it displayed in chalk writing on a brick wall with a credit, however with this causing the title of the film to be unclear I realised an even better place that I could have put it. When Natalie meets Adam at the brick, I could have written on the brick wall between them 'Speak Out', using a medium or close-up shot of them facing each other with the title in the middle between them. I am disappointed that I could not include the chalk writing on the wall as that was one of my more favoured credits in the sequence.

Also if I managed to re-film my opening sequence I would further develop the dialogue between the two characters. The inflection in the voices didn't entirely match what I wanted to get across to the audience. The female's voice was also mentioned in some feedback received from a peer, that it appeared too happy. I agree with this statement as I wanted her to appear more nervous and cautious around the male character. On the other hand I feel that the male's acting effected the dialogue more. I wanted for him to seem caring, almost overly affectionate, yet it appeared a more forced.

When looking over my credits I am very happy with how they turned out, especially the panning around the mug, this was also pointed out as my audiences favourite credit. Another credit I did enjoy was the one shown on the inside of the wardrobe door, I believe the editing of the two shots leading up to that shot were rather good as well. Someone during my feedback did mention that they found the credit presented on the bathroom towel was unnatural, however I disagree to a certain point. Although yes, it is an odd place to have an opening credit, I think it show creativity and suits with the rest of the credits being revealed throughout the opening sequence.

The music suits well to the storyline and genre of the opening sequence. The 'Bubble-Wrapped Heart' lyrics refer to someone who has been hurt in love before and is cautious of new love. This suits Natalie's feelings at the end of the film when she begins to overcome her relationship with Adam and tries to move on with her life. The use of only an acoustic guitar suits the simplicity and purity of the character of Natalie, having no experience and Adam being her first boyfriend shows her naivety. The song choice can appear to be a form of foreshadowing to the ending of the film, this was a conscious decision and has complimented the storyline well.

Altogether I do like my opening sequence, however there are some aspects that I would re-film and change.

Re-Editing of Audio

From the previous edit of the opening sequence the music was already altered to match the positioning of the dialogue. Therefore, after I had removed the shot, the points at which I had edited the music no-longer complimented the points where the dialogue appeared. So to rectify this, I removed the entire length of music and then imported a clean, unedited version to re-do. Working with a clean piece made it easier to pin-point where I wanted the music to dip, then grow louder without the distraction of the previous points to make me doubt where to edit.

(Edited around the first section of dialogue.)

(Editing towards the end of the sequence, as well as the last piece of dialogue.)

I've now had a few other peers to listen and comment on whether they think the audio has improved or needs more adjustments. So far they have said that the new editing, after the male character has finished his dialogue, has improved and increases in volume more subtly than before.

Assessment

Further audience feedback has reinforced the issues of the audio around the areas of dialogue. But at the same time my concern of having the title in the same shot as one of the credits has proven to confuse the audience as to what the title of the film is. Fortunately this problem was solved by removing the shot containing the title and the credit, then creating the title on Live Type to place after the second production logo. Though because the credit that was featured in that specific shot gives credit to the artists music that I am using, I am going to possibly re-film that shot without the credit in it or film the credit in another place.

 (the title enlarges towards the screen, representing the sound of someone talking resonating)

The comments on the audio related to the swift increase in volume after the dialogue was finished, that it was too sudden. However, this can be easily remedied on Final Cut. Yet I want to more careful than before, because I went through a few trial periods where the music was either too slow coming back in or too loud. I will continue to get others to assess the quality of the audio to get the right balance.

Peer Assessment



Two peers watched and then assessed my opening sequence. Both wrote comments and targets for each of these following areas; sound, introductions (characters/locations/storyline/genre), titles and cinematography/editing. This has proven to show useful as both peers have given similar and different comments and targets for me to think about.


Comments

• The credits were effective and didn't disrupt the characters actions.
• Match-on-action technique was well used.
• Relationship between the characters was clear and well conveyed.
• Audio levels were consistent in being fairly clear.

Targets

• Title of the film didn't stand out and was unclear.
• A wider range of shot types could be used. For example, when she locks the door.
• Possibly use some transitions instead of just cutting. (Fade to black was suggested to break it up a bit)
• Shot lengths could be longer to emphasise it's genre.
• Female character's personality appeared too nice and should be more depressed/sad.
• Music could be faded a little more when approaching the dialogue and then following a more subtly introduction of the music volume.

Some of these targets have reinforced some of my own targets/issues that I was aware of within the sequence. I will attempt to rectify some of them if possible. Others however can be solved without the need of re-filming certain shots to improve my opening sequence.

Part 1 - Questionnaire Feedback

So far I've only managed to get around half of my questionnaires completed. However, this has still proven to provide good feedback.

All of the participants have concluded with the idea that the male character is not what he seems. This shows that the transition of his character, from pleasent to accussing, was successfully communicated to the audience. Another aspect that all participants (so far) have agreed on is their favourite opening credit being the panning around the mug. Comments explained their reasoning being that they found it effective how the camera pans around the mug and it is then lifted out of the shot; saying it flowed well.

Also the comments I recieved concerning the volume, for example music and dialogue, overall was positive. None expressed any concerns or complaints about the sound.

As I continue to get my other questionnaires filled out I hope to recieve similar positive comments as I have done previously.

Volume Feedback

I decided to re-view my opening sequence to check any final factors that I could spot myself when I realised a serious adjustment that I missed previously. Before the exchange of dialogue between the two characters I dip the volume of the music so the speech can be heard. However, I failed to raise the volume afterwards. Once I had done this I asked a peer to listen to my adjustments and ask their opinion. They suggested that I should stop the music when Adam grabs Natalie to show the transformation of the atmosphere being quite friendly to tense. I tried this new idea and conformed to the suggestion. I agree with this idea and what it helps to represent.

Planning Feedback Questionaire

After finally completing my first edit of my opening sequence I plan to create a questionnaire that will accompany a viewing of my first edit. From this I hope to find some improvements that can be made, as well as some comments from people about what they think is effective about my opening sequence.

A majority of my questions are asking if they can spot any areas of improvement, but also if I've managed to communicate across to my audience what I wanted to be seen in the sequence.

For example,

My aim relating to the characters was not to stereotype the male character of 'Adam', causing the audience to immediately assume that he is abusive. This could have been done through the mise-en-scene when 'Adam' was introduced into the storyline. His costume could have been possibly being bald, tattoos, as well as a low gruff voice and shouting at 'Natalie' the moment he saw her. The lighting around  him would have been dim, casting shadows across around; overall giving him a very dark and unnerving persona.

However, I wanted 'Adam' to remain non-stereotyped in his appearance. This would give a better sense of realism to the character as those who are abusive do not always look as they are stereotyped. Although in his dialogue at the end of the opening sequence I wanted the audience to start assuming what Adam's character is like.

Question number 10 simply asks the question of whether or not I have been successful in conforming to enough conventions of the social realism genre to make it recognisable.

Completed Production Logos

I am very pleased with the turn out of my production logos. One displaying the use of Live Type and the other showing creativity without the use of technology. As well as the music selected compliments them well. After editing the volume of the music I have found that they flow a lot more easily into the next clip.

Adjusting the Volume

Finally after choosinng the music to accompany the 'Carrot Cake' production logo I repeatedly played the opening the get a feel for what the different music sounded like starting one after the other. This luckily revealed to me that the music ending in a straight cut, followed immediately by the mext, sounded horribly and unfinished. Therefore the resolve this issue I adjusted the volume to gradually fade out as the next piece of music came in. This proved to be very effective and improved the quality of the opening sequence.

When I played through the opening a few times more, I felt that the volume needed to be further adjusted. I did this with both the 'Carrot Cake' and 'Tricky Films' production logos.

(Left: the first edit of the volume for a 'Carrot Cake' production. Right: the readjusted edit of the volume for a 'Carrot Cake' production.)

Music For A 'Carrot Cake' Production

Having already selected a piece of music for the 'Tricky Films' production logo, I moved my search to look for music to match the creation of a 'Carrot Cake' production. After listening to a variety of different clips of music, I ask some other students to listen to my selected ones to help narrow down which one would be more suited to the production logo. It is now down between two different pieces of music.

The first clip of music is of a collection of string instruments (violins, etc), which was well received. And the other is made from an acoustic guitar, known as noodling. This was also liked. However I think that I will put both pieces of music with the finished production logo, and then ask for feedback from peers as to which one is best suited.

Sound Edit

After some feedback from a couple of other students I discovered that the volume of the dialogue from my actors was too quiet. Although they could hear what was being said, it was not entirely clear. Therefore I further adjusted the sound of the dialogue to all clips that included speech, making sure the volume was even. However there was one section of dialogue spoken by Barney (Adam), that was more quietly delivered than other lines. So this was increased to an even higher level of volume.